my friend, i and our crazy pests

in the wee hours of this morning
you have an insane bird
that bangs against your windows

i have a gray rat
that rattles papers and
is faster than speedy gonzalez

so, please, send your crazy bird
across this vast span of ocean
to eat this rat and disappear

really, i woke up this morning
to the sound of rattling paper
and that startled me

if that wasn't annoying enough,
i looked closer and saw a gray
rat tail moving along my windowsill

it was disgusting

now i am a peaceful man
and i hate to kill animals
so, i don't go hunting

i'm rather particular

i don't go into wild animal territory
and i certainly don't
want them in mine . . .

mutual respect is required here
but, if that sneaky critter
comes back tomorrow he's dead

i will send his pink and green soul
to rat heaven and his hairy
gray body down the drain

so, it's my prayer that
God will have mercy and give that
critter a warning since i can't

cause i don't know rat language
nor do i care to learn it
merely to warn him of impending doom

i hope you have food in your house
i also hope the weather changes
i hear it's very cold in Finland

an exceptional chill, ice and all

it was warm here for a couple of days
now it's overcast and raining
i have an appointment in 45 minutes

gotta go

i can't imagine a rat souvenir but,
when that crazy bird kills himself
send me a feather