kinda haiku view
swiftly the moment
this orange blue day in time
flitting butterfly
swiftly the sad wing
a void in yellow blue time
trembling hummingbird
little tiny tune
stiff red iron weathervane
lightning over hills
strikes twice runs
faster than the speedy mink
sweet water bottom song
time wounds our sky
a clean flood washes sorrow
swiftly the moment
this orange blue day in time
flitting butterfly
swiftly the sad wing
a void in yellow blue time
trembling hummingbird
little tiny tune
stiff red iron weathervane
lightning over hills
strikes twice runs
faster than the speedy mink
sweet water bottom song
time wounds our sky
a clean flood washes sorrow
swiftly the moment
posted by TomScot at 9:39 PM
2 Comments:
I love the first two and the last verse. They have the magic.
The third and the fourth verses, however, I don't understand. Maybe you could give us a tad bit more? for me, verses one two and five would make up a world class poem. But that is just one man's reading.
To me, the third verse starts with the hummingbird, and pans out to show the visual picture of a landscape before a thunderstorm.
The storm hits (joyfully)in verse three, the floodwater runs off.
The eye of our imagination flits from image to image like the creatures that dance in and out of the poem--in their constant, unpredictable, graceful motion.
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