turning point

i am of earth
an exile
in search of home

through this illusion of death
i have travelled many times
in many shapes and forms

i have suffered and died
and loved and lost
and killed and been killed

behind this curtain
of all that is uncertain
i have bourne joy and sorrow

perhaps, this time
i will pass through the door
prepared for the righteous

perhaps, this time
i will lay me down
my double edged sword

perhaps, this time
i will forget the temptations
of earth, of war

of revenge
of all that stains my heart
of all that pains my soul

for i have been a fierce warrior
who thought an honorable death
to be acquired on distant battlefields

one who relished malice
as the only solution to problems
incurred with my fellow beings

caught in this web of deceit
at this decisive moment
i fiercely wrestle with soul

i have much for which to forgive
and much for which to be forgiven
for i have missed the mark

i have landed again and again
within this never ending ellipse
that leads to absolute nowhere

now i stand still
and i wait for a revelation
today i will not be moved

today i have fallen on my knees
and i listen for the small voice
that will answer to my soul

intently i listen
and if there is only silence
i will gladly turn to stone